Saturday, May 5, 2012

Under pressure

Love the song.
Hate the pressure.
Tonight I am feeling the pressure.
The pressure to keep everyone happy. To keep everything ok. 
I am feeling like an enormous failure. Because I can't keep everyone happy. Because I can't make everything ok. Because things I'm doing are causing stress to others. Because I feel like it's out of my control.

I have worked hard to get where I am. But it doesn't help. I feel like I'm always a step behind where I need to be. I make plans to make things run better, smoother, more efficiently. Then fate steps in with a different plan. Certain things are bigger than me, I can't control it all.

I don't want to let people down. But I am.

My business needs more from me.
My family needs more from me.
My home needs more from me.
Hell, even my blog needs more from me!

I have no more to give! How do I balance it all, and make it work??

As I write this, I see giant cobwebs hanging from my kitchen ceiling, taunting me.
'You can't even keep your home clean, let alone run a business as well!'
Those bastard cobwebs.

I need to remind myself that this will pass. Take a deep breath and be calm.
Everyone will be fine, given a bit of time.

{I am not writing this for attention, or sympathy. You needn't be worried.  I just find it hard to say these things out loud sometimes. I am a massive sook and words get lost in tears!}


  1. Pressure can be hard. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies. Just take it day at a time and know that tthe cobwebs can always wait......xx

  2. Oh Rach, it is so bloody hard isn't it?! Please don't beat yourself up, you're doing the very best you can and I have no doubt that it's a wonderful job you're doing too.
    But I do get the pressure thing. I feel it too. I think we all do, just in different forms at different times.
    At the end of the day, you need to be happy and if it means altering things here and there to make that happen, so be it.
    Big hugs, hope you feel much better in the morning xoxo
    Oh and don't let the cobwebs bother you, if you didn't have them, you'd have WAY too much time on your hands!

  3. Well you are going to get some sympathy anyway poppet! One day at a time is the best we can do. It's so hard feeling like you are getting pulled in several directions at once... but YOU can do it!!! Breathe. And I'm with Julie, I dont do cobwebs either... just dont look up!

  4. PS. You take awesome photos too another pretty cool thing about you :-)

  5. Hi lovely lady
    Hope that you are okay.
    Please try not to be so hard on yourself, youre a wonderful chick with a family that loves you very very much. Stuff the cobwebs, every house should have cobwebs ... I know mine does!

  6. Dear Ms Jackson,
    Im pretty darn sure we all feel like that, most of the time.
    It can be soothing to remind myself that sucess and failure are not black and white but many shades between. Im sure if you had only one of the roles you mentioned to focus on then you would be the BOMB at it.... Im sure you would be the worlds best cobweb duster EVER!
    But like most if us you have chosen to spread your success widely over many parts of life. It sounds like you need a cleaner, or a holiday, or perhaps a night out with me and Mrs Bok bok! ;)


Thanks for your lovely messages! They really make my day :)

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